


How To Be

by Kazymyr



Series: heartbeats [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Bantering, Camp Half-Blood, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Nico should probably work on his social skills, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Will won't stop with the movie throwbacks, teenage boys being teenage boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6762154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazymyr/pseuds/Kazymyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do you want from me?”</p><p>“Love and adoration, Nico di Angelo. That’s all I ever ask of you.”</p><p>Or...</p><p>In which Nico is still a grade A grouch, teenage girls are terrifying, and Will can't even.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

“Would you _get off_!?”

“How about you fuck off.”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“If you’re not careful, I’m going to kiss _you_ with that mouth.”

Nico jabbed an elbow into Will’s side and dove over the son of Apollo’s back from where he had flung himself across Nico’s legs. Nico only halfway made the lunge and Will let out a brief: ‘ _oof’_ as Nico clumsily flopped half on Will’s back and half still squirming to get away. The two of them scrambled, pushing the others limbs away but Nico continued holding his videogame controller in the air, dodging Will’s attempts to block his view of the television. Nico had already beaten Will three times, and when Will realized he clearly wasn’t going to win fair and square, he resorted to dirty tricks which included (but certainly were not limited to) tackling, kicking, and attempting to disable Nico while they were playing.

Nico sped forward to another victory and Will threw his controller down onto the mattress, sending it bouncing over the edge and onto the floor.

“How is this even _possible?!_ ” Will groaned. “Televisions were barely invented when you were born!”

“Barely? For like ten years, genius.”

“ _Whatever_. My point stands. How are you good at this?”

“Quick learner,” Nico smiled, attempting to weasel the rest of his legs out from underneath Will. The son of Apollo made a face and pressed all his weight down, keeping Nico’s legs trapped. Nico pushed at his shoulders. “Oh, come on. Get off.”

“No,” Will said. “I’m beaten and broken. You’re just going to have to let me sit and bitch for a while.”

“So the usual then.”

“Screw you.”

Nico snorted, surrendering his attempts to move. “Your vocabulary is actively devolving.”

“Shut up. It's all the mortals. When you hang out with them you start to pick up their slang and it’s not like most sixteen year-olds are particularly eloquent anyway. I can’t exactly say stuff like: ‘ _Holy Hera!’_ without one hell of an explanation.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Nico rolled his eyes, but didn’t stop the smile that crept onto his face as he dropped his head back onto the couch that the mattress was pressed up against. Will shimmied himself into a more comfortable position, and once he was settled, Nico flopped his head to the side and looked over to find a pair of bright, blue eyes staring at him expectantly. He reached over and flicked him in the nose, and Will stuck his tongue out indignantly before batted his hands away. Nico chuckled and looked up at the ceiling.

It felt good to be back at Will’s mother’s place. The apartment was small, but it was cozy. Will had taken to dragging his mattress out into the living room whenever Nico was over, arguing that it made sense because the television was there and one of them (usually Will) fell asleep on the couch anyway. This way, instead of Nico trying to kick Will off the couch and back into his room, one of them could either roll off onto the mattress, or climb up onto the couch.

It was a decent system, and Nico didn’t think to complain. It felt like home.

The first few visits had been awkward even though Will’s mother was always willing to have him. It had been a little difficult to remember where Will’s and his boundaries had been, but once they remembered how infuriating the other was, things seemed to fall into place. It started with brief visits to Will’s home over holidays, but once Will was convinced Nico could shadow travel without fading away, the visits came more often and soon Nico was there almost every weekend.

Shadow travel, in small bursts, wasn’t as taxing for Nico as it once had been. Two years ago a cross country travel would have sent him into a coma for days, but now a quick nap seemed to take the edge away. He attributed most of it to Will, who had been (not always so) subtly monitoring Nico’s health. It took a good few months after the rise of Gaea before Nico had gained his appetite back, but once he had, he was insatiable and as a result, sprouted up several inches in height. Will was still taller, but not nearly as much as he used to be.

Will jabbed him in the thigh and Nico opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them. “What do you want from me?”

“Love and adoration, Nico di Angelo. That’s all I ever ask of you.”

“Right. And I’m sure this has nothing to do with you losing tragically at _Mario Buckets_ -“

“Kart. _Mario_ Kart.”

“Yeah, whatever. You still suck at it.”

“ _Mario Buckets_? Are you serious right now?” Will sat up, freeing Nico’s legs. “How is that fair? You can’t even remember the name.”

“I feel like that has nothing to do with winning. It’s completely irrelevant.”

“ _You_ are completely irrelevant.”

“And _you_ a sore loser.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Nope, but your mom does.”

Will groaned and fell back onto the mattress, refusing to argue. His mother had adored Nico from the moment they met, and if Nico was being completely honest, the feeling was pretty mutual. She was beautiful and gentle, and Nico was constantly reminded that Will’s calming presence hadn’t come from Apollo at all; it had been from his mother. She worked late nights at the local hospital, and the long hours left an almost permanent look of exhaustion on her face, but her eyes were bright and there was something about them that reminded Nico a little of his own mother.

She cared for him as if he were her own, and Nico was more grateful than he let on.

Will turned and looked at him, squinting his eyes. “I’m not sure why I hang out with you.”

“Because you have no other friends?”

“That is grossly inaccurate,” Will replied. “As a matter of fact, the two of us have been invited to a movie tonight.”

Nico raised an eyebrow. “The two of us?”

“Yeah. Like, you and me.” Will paused. “Or is it: you and I? I think it’s: you and me-“

“Will. What are you doing? Focus. Who invited us to a movie?”

“Holly and Pip. Well, Holly did, but Pip will be there too.”

Nico’s stomach churned.

 _Mortals_ , he thought. _Will’s friends_.

Nico knew the inevitable meeting would happen one day. Will talked about them every time he talked about school, and while Will had alluded to the introductions happening one day, Nico hoped he might have been able to just always casually avoid it.

Will looked up expectantly from where he was laying. Nico toyed with the ring on his finger.

“What?”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Do you want to go?”

Nico shrugged. _Want_ was certainly not the right word.

“I think it would probably be fun,” Will said. “I mean, it would be a good opportunity to meet them, and it’s a movie so it’s not like you would be forced to sit and talk for ages.”

“Why does that matter? You afraid I’m going to say something stupid?”

“No,” Will replied, voice calm, neutral, and not giving in to Nico’s bait. “I’m just saying that I know meeting new people can be hard and it would be a good introduction.”

Nico was quiet as he continued to spin the ring around his finger. Will was watching him and Nico could tell how much he had wanted to introduce him to his friends, but Nico couldn’t stop the sense of dread that was sitting heavy in the pit of his stomach.

 _This is stupid_ , Nico thought. _What could be so bad?_

And then: _Everything. Everything could be so, so bad._

Nico groaned inwardly. He physically shook his head to rattle his thoughts before taking a breath. “It’s a movie?”

“An outdoor movie,” Will clarified. “They have them down by the boardwalk every once and a while. It’s actually pretty fun. You dig yourself a spot in the sand, wrap up in a blanket, eat a whole bunch of bad food… It’s fun.”

“Is it a good movie?”

“ _The Goonies_. You’ll like it. It’s on my list of movies you need to watch. There are pirates.”

Nico’s eyebrow twitched involuntarily and then he shrugged his shoulders again. Will rolled his eyes.

“Stop being such a downer. It’s a good movie and they’re good people. They really want to meet you. Worst case scenario all you have to do is suffer through an awesome movie.”

“And you,” Nico said. “I have to suffer through you being unbearable.”

“You say that like my being unbearable isn’t the only way I know how to be.”

“Good point.”

Will went to poke at Nico’s sides but the son of Hades caught his hands before they made contact. Will groaned dramatically. “Come _on_. Please? You won’t let me win at _Mario Kart_ , you won’t let me win wrestling matches, my mom likes you better than me, and now you won’t even go to a movie with me? What is the point of even living? I, literally, have nothing left to live for. My life is an abyss of misery and-”

“Oh, for crying out loud. _Fine_ ,” Nico conceded. “We’ll go watch this stupid movie, but you have to promise you’ll stop whining for _at least_ five minutes.”

“Okay,” Will said, immediately abandoning his drama and reaching over the side of the mattress to retrieve his controller. “Ready to lose at some _Mario Buckets_?”

Nico snorted and grabbed his own controller. “It’s _Mario Kart_ , Will. Don’t be stupid.”

 

* * *

 

After countless crushing victories, two bags of popcorn, and one tournament loss (which Nico was sure he was never going to live down), Nico was mercifully rescued by the sound of Will’s mother’s bedroom door opening. It was late in the afternoon, but Will’s mother appeared with sleep bleary eyes and her graying, blonde hair pulled into a ponytail that looked as if she had rolled straight off her pillow and onto her feet.

She blinked at them both several times before a slow smile spread across her features.

“I should have known you were here,” Will’s mother said, motioning for Nico to get up and hug her. “Will is never quite so dramatic around anyone else.”

Will let out an indignant “w _hose side are you on?”_ , but Nico just grinned and hopped off the mattress, abandoning his controller and embracing Will’s mother. She smelled like the disinfectant and antiseptics, like the hospital she worked long nights at, but then something else entirely buried beneath all the chemicals that reminded Nico of home.

She looked at Nico with fond eyes, her hands on his face. “I swear, every time I see you, you’re a little bit taller.”

“Hey!” Will called again. “Don’t encourage him.”

“Oh stop. You’re just going to have to come to terms with the fact that one of these days he’s going to be taller than you.”

“Mom, why would you lie to him like that? That’s just rude.”

Will’s mother rolled her eyes and planted a kiss on the top of Nico’s head. “It’s good to see you. Are you with us long?”

Nico shook his head. “Just a day or two, if that’s all right.”

“Of course. Will just mopes when you’re away anyway.”

Will looked at his mother, unamused. “No, it’s cool, mom. Keep going. Just show him all my cards. It’s fine.”

“As if you aren’t easy to read anyway,” she replied, letting go of Nico and planting a kiss on Will’s face. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

Will mumbled a " _good morning"_ and Nico chuckled to himself as Will’s mother headed toward the kitchen. Once she was past, Nico raised an eyebrow at Will and mouthed: “ _you miss me?”_ which was followed quickly by a deft pillow to his face. Will took advantage of the temporary distraction and seized Nico by the waist, pulling him down and attempting to disable him. Nico was typically quicker than Will but the son of Apollo still had the advantage of his size. The two of them tussled, kicking and pulling at the other’s limbs until Will managed to sit sideways across Nico’s stomach and shove another pillow into his face. Nico laughed from under the fabric, and blindly continued trying to shove Will away.

Nico’s fingers managed to find Will’s side, and the healer yelped, abandoning the pillow, but still refusing to move from where Nico was pinned.

“What are you boys doing today?” Will’s mother asked from the kitchen.

Will opened his mouth to respond but Nico’s hands dove for Will’s ribs again. He dodged the attack and smirked, managing to trap one of Nico’s arms against the mattress. “Busted.”

Nico squirmed and jabbed his knee into Will’s hip.

“Ow, hey!” Will crumbled over onto his side, still keeping Nico’s arm down.

“Boys?”

 “Yes?” Will called absently, trying keep Nico’s elbow from anywhere dangerous.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yup.”

“You sure?”

“Totally.”

“So is that why you’re continuing to irritate poor Nico?”

Will’s jaw dropped and he looked over in the direction of the kitchen, affronted as Nico snickered and stuck his tongue out.

“Why is it always my fault?” Will cried.

“Because it usually is.”

Nico stifled his laugh and Will gave him a hard shove into his shoulder before letting him go and glaring. “I _won_.”

“Don’t get too cocky. I let you.”

“Ahem,” Will’s mother said, now back in the living room with a cup of coffee in her hand. “I repeat: what are your plans for today?”

“We’re gonna go down to the boardwalk and see a movie with Holly and Pip.”

Will’s mother’s eyebrows shot up, and her eyes fell on Nico. “Oh really? The time has finally come, hm?”

Nico gave an annoyed hum, trying to mask his discomfort, but it was pointless. She was a _mother_ and when it came to things like this she just inherently knew. Thankfully, she said nothing, instead smiling and saying: “You’ll have fun. The outdoor movies are always really great.”

“They’re playing _The Goonies_.”

“Oh, you’re going to love it, Nico. There are pirates."

“ _Told you”,_ Will muttered from next to him. Nico tried his best to humor her with a smile, but the look in her eye told him she knew better.

“They’re just girls, Nico,” Will’s mother teased. “Surely the Prince of the Underworld can handle a few teenage girls.”

Nico made a sour face and Will’s mother laughed.

"Fine. Fair enough. I’d keep your eye on Pip though, Will. Nico seems like he might be her type."

Nico raised his eyebrows and looked over at Will who snorted and flipped the gaming console off before turning the television on, absently flinging a leg over Nico's lap and saying: "Yeah right. Over my dead body."

“That can be arranged, ya know,” Nico said, pushing Will’s leg off only to have it immediately reappear.

“Empty threats, Neeks. I know you won’t let anything happen to me.”

Will’s mother chuckled from over the edge of her coffee. “He’s on to you, Nico.”

“That’s only because I don’t want anyone else having the pleasure,” Nico replied, darting a hand out to jab Will’s side again but Will managed to catch him by the wrist. Nico raised an eyebrow, impressed and Will looked quite pleased with himself. “You’re finally getting quicker. Nice job.”

“Thank you,” Will beamed. “I have an excellent sparring partner.”

“And don’t you dare forget it.”

“How could I? He usually won’t shut up about how much better he is at _everything_.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you got the short end of the stick. Take that up with your dad, not me.”

“I might if he wasn’t still missing, dumbass.”

“Well then just come to terms with it. I mean, I get it. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t even get your mother’s good looks but-”

“Oh forget this, you can fend off Pip yourself. “

“I think I’ll be able to handle a single mortal. Thanks though.”

“Clearly you don’t know much about mortals or _girls_ -“

Across the room, Will’s mother started laughing and both Nico and Will stopped mid-argument to look over and find her shaking her head. Will asked her what was so funny but she just continued shaking her head and smiled.

“I was joking. I don’t think you’re actually going to have to worry about Pip. She’ll probably take one look at you clowns and know better.”

“What?” Will squawked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh nothing,” she smirked. “You’re bound to figure it out eventually.”

 

* * *

 

The sun began dipping below the horizon much sooner than Nico would have liked. He had felt safe in the cocoon of Will's mother's apartment, and when they said goodbye to Will's mother and that they would see her tomorrow, Nico was almost tempted to break his own arm in an effort to avoid going to the movie.

Unfortunately, he couldn't think of a reasonable enough way to make it look like an accident and the last thing he wanted was to hear Will go off on his _no concept of self-preservation_ speech again (which he had heard more than a dozen times by now and was completely unnecessary because the last time he had heard it, the whole scenario had arguably been Will's fault considering he was the one he actually _shot_ the arrow that lodged itself into Nico's arm).

Nico wanted to smile as he recalled the memory, but his stomach felt heavier with each step toward the coastline. Will hadn't said much since they left the house, and Nico almost expected some sort of behavioral run down before they arrived. Were there certain things he wasn't supposed to mention? How much did they know about Will? What did Will tell them about his father? What if they didn't like Nico? How was he supposed to fake being fully mortal? Was he supposed to shake hands, fist bump, do some sort of secret handshake when he met them?

Will knocked his shoulder into Nico's, as if sensing his discomfort and Nico didn't bother trying to fake a smile.

"I know you don't want to do this," Will said as the lights from the boardwalk came into view. Nico rolled his eyes and pushed his hand a little too aggressively against a crosswalk button.

"But you're going to make me do it anyway."

"I'm not making you do anything," Will said curtly. "You don't have to be here."

"Really?" Nico replied with a doubtful look. "So you aren't guilt tripping me into meeting your friends?"

“It’s not a guilt trip-“

“It sort of is.”

"Don’t you want to? What's so bad about it? They're just people. And they're _nice_ people. I spend most of my time with them when I'm not-"

"Trying to save the world one injured camper at a time?"

"With _you_ ," Will said, narrowing his eyes and punctuating his point with a finger jabbed into Nico's chest. "Why are you being such a jerk about this?"

"I'm not being a jerk about this. You _know_ I don't want to do this."

"I just don't get what the big deal is."

"Do you not remember how freaked out I was to meet your mom? My people skills aren’t exactly top notch."

"Well yeah," Will replied. "But that was a while ago and look how great meeting my mom turned out. Just give these guys a chance."

"Give these guys a chance," Nico repeated. "Right."

"Oh come _on_. I met Hazel, and Frank, and _Reyna,_ who is _hands down_ the most intimidating person on this planet. I can promise you none of my friends will even come close to how scary it was to meet her."

“You make it sound like she tried to interrogate you or something.”

“Um yeah. She kind of did. All that was missing was the isolated room and spotlight. I was practically waiting for her to hook me up to a lie detector.”

“But everything went fine.”

“Exactly,” Will said. “So stop acting like this is the end of the world. There’s nothing scary about this. Holly is really sweet and you and Pip are both like… some weird gamer prodigies. You’ll probably really like her. If you gave her a chance I’m sure you guys would actually really get a long.”

Nico made an annoyed sound and Will bumped his shoulder again.

“Hey. This is important to me but I’m not like… _expecting_ perfection. I know this is hard. All I want is for you to try. That’s all that matters.”

Nico opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything there was a high-pitched squeal, a rush of ginger hair and then Will’s face suddenly disappeared as a girl flung herself into his arms. Will’s shock lasted only a second and then his previously serious demeanor instantly melted as a bright grin lit up his face. He gave the girl a tight hug and lifted her off her feet.

Something poisonous slithered its way into Nico’s chest and he felt himself go hot and cold all over at once.

“Will Solace,” the girl squeaked. “I have missed you.”

"Welcome home!" Will replied, setting her down. "It’s good to have you back. Jeez, look how tan you are! How was Hawaii? Did you even bother to save any sun for the rest of us?"

“Absolutely not! It’s not like you need it anyway though, Sunbaby. Hawaii was amazing! The water is so blue! It was, literally, all I could think about when we first got there. I just couldn’t get over it. I'm glad to be home though. Turns out that spring break isn’t really all that fun if you guys aren’t there. Pips could’ve come with but she just _had_ to be a-" The girl stopped abruptly, looking at Nico as if she had just noticed he was there. “Oh! You came! You must be Nico!”

Nico instinctively took a step back, tempted to fold into himself and disappear as the new girl stared at him with open excitement. She wasn’t all that pretty. Her face was sort of plain, and even though her skin was freshly tanned and the freckles across her face were dark, she wasn’t particularly remarkable. Her hair reminded him a little bit of Rachel Elizabeth Dare’s but she didn’t have any of the spark that Rachel had. She looked like every other mortal Nico had ever seen and he would be happy to forget about her as soon as the night was over.

Just behind her was another girl. This one wasn’t smiling; she was just watching Nico with charcoal lined eyes that were dark and steady. She had sharper features, but she still wasn't what Nico would call pretty either. She didn’t look American, and she certainly wasn’t Italian, but Nico couldn’t quite pinpoint where she might be from. Her hair was a mess, like an unwashed mop with dark-brown roots and washed out pale pink ends that looked as if it had been done at home and then never done again. Nico assumed her entire thrown-together look was supposed to be an act of teenage rebellion, but it was still more mess than style.

He didn’t like a single thing about either one of them (especially how close the first girl was standing to Will, but that would be an issue he would deal with later).

“Um…” Nico said. “Yeah.”

“I’m Holly! And this is Pip,” she grinned, motioning a thumb behind her before sticking out her hand to shake Nico’s. The son of Hades raised an eyebrow at the outstretched hand but kept his own tightly against his side. Holly glanced sideways at Will and her smile slowly began to fade, dropping her hand hesitantly. “Well, we’re glad you could make it. It’s great to finally meet you. Will has told us a lot about you.”

“Yeah. So I’ve heard,” Nico said, focusing his eyes at Will who didn’t look particularly amused. Nico tried not to glare at him but even he could feel the air around him begin to grow cold.

“Well,” Holly started again, trying to get Nico’s attention. “We’ve got some snacks, and my brother is going to stop by with some blankets for us in a bit, but we might as well go find a good spot before the rest of them are all taken.”

Will stared at Nico for a moment longer before turning back to the others with a smile. “Good plan.”

Nico said nothing as they moved toward the beach. He stayed back from the trio and was hyper aware that Pip was staring at him up until Will slung his arm around her shoulders and asked her how she was doing. The moment Will touched her, her face changed into something softer and it left a sour feeling in Nico’s stomach.

This was a nightmare.

Holly continued to try to make polite conversation with him, but Nico ignored all of her questions. Will tried to make up for the awkward attempts by asking her about her trip but as soon as there was a lull, she was back trying to engage Nico. Eventually Nico relented and hummed a couple acknowledgements, just to appease her (no, he hadn’t seen the movie before, and no, he didn’t know who Sam Gamgee was) but he was more focused on the fact that if Will wasn’t talking to Pip she just continued to stare at Nico like he was some sort of imposter.

The two girls were an odd pair. Nico certainly wouldn’t have expected either of them to be friends with each other. Holly was plain and Pip looked like chaos. Absently he wondered why Will was drawn to either of them. They couldn’t relate to Will in anyway. They weren’t like him, they didn’t have the same sort of natural glow, and they were just… completely unremarkable. Nico couldn’t see what made them so special or why out of all the people he could’ve spent time with, he chose them.

Will seemed to enjoy the two of them though. He was laughing, and when they talked, it was about things Nico didn’t understand. Will would squeeze their shoulders, bump their hips, and Nico had always understood that Will was free with his touches, that sometimes he had no other way to communicate, but it still struck Nico in a way that made him want to twitch. These weren’t behaviors that were distinct to their own relationship and something about the realization ate at him.

By the time they were down on the beach, Nico was fairly confident he was ready to disappear. The three of them grouped up, and when Will reached for Nico’s arm to bring him forward, Nico shot him a dangerous look, and Will glared.

It was worse than Nico’s worst case scenario. He had imagined Will’s friends not liking him, but what he hadn’t predicted was his strong dislike toward _them_. Holly was just as liberal with her touches as Will and it seemed as if she couldn’t say a single thing to Will without placing a hand on him. Pip still wasn’t saying much, but Nico wasn’t overly fond of the dirty looks she kept shooting him.

They found a spot, not too far from the oversized movie screen but a bit off to the side so they were closer to the actual boardwalk. The trio immediately began digging into the sand, slowly hollowing out a strip of the beach and stacking sand up at the back of it to create a type of backrest until they had ultimately created some sort of sunken bench. It went on for quite a while, and Nico did his best to stay invisible, but every once and a while, Will would flick him a glance and then look away with a scowl. When their creation was finished, all three dropped into it and Holly motioned for Nico to join them.

“Come sit with us, Nico,” Holly said cheerfully, scooting closer to where Pip sat on one end. “There’s plenty of room.”

Will shot him another look, warning him to be nice, but Nico felt petulant and irritated, so he disregarded Holly with a: _“Yeah. No.”_ and after an icy glare, Will turned away. Not a moment later, Holly’s phone went off and she immediately answered, darting up and looking around the beach until she found what she was looking for. She clicked off her phone, tugging at Pip’s hands, but Pip seemed more interested in continuing to watch Nico.

“Pips, come help me get stuff from my brother. They’re here.”

“Take the Sunbaby,” Pip said, her voice surprisingly solid despite her previous silence. Nico could tell she was looking for something, a reaction – a response to Will’s nickname perhaps but Nico avoided looking at her despite the gaze that was fixated on him. Holly let out a sigh and gave her a disappointed look, dropping her hand.

“Fine,” Holly conceded, grabbing Will’s hand instead. “You’ve been volunteered, Sunbaby. Come help. These guys can hold down the fort.”

The son of Apollo stood up, knocked some of the sand of his pants and then followed Holly away without so much as a glance in Nico’s direction.

Nico clenched his fists and dropped his eyes to the ground. This was a mess. This was exactly what he knew would happen, just not in so many ways. He couldn’t explain the heat sitting in his chest and why he wanted to be away from everyone- everyone but Will. He wanted to rewind the evening and go back to when they were safe in the world that only existed within Will’s mother’s apartment.

Things were a lot simpler when it was just the two of them and he didn’t have to think about why he hated seeing someone else reach for Will’s hand.

“What’s your problem?” A voice asked, causing Nico to flinch at the unexpected sound. Pip was staring at him, not in the same way as before, but with an irritated, defiant look that was surprisingly reminiscent of Will. She didn’t look particularly frightened of Nico, and it occurred to him that she didn’t know she should be. She had no idea who he was or what he could do.  
  
The thought annoyed him even further.

“Well?” she prompted. “Is there a reason you’re being such an asshole or are we just lucky? Who doesn’t even shake someone’s hand? That’s a real dick move, dude.”

Nico kept his mouth shut, but he glared at her darkly, enough to see her confidence waver until she realized what was happening and sat up sharply, even more frustrated.

“You don’t get to act like you’re better than us just because you go to camp with him. He’s been our friend for years and he deserves better than this. He’s just trying to include you. If you don’t want to be here so bad, just go.”

Nico tensed as if something had physically struck him. His insides turned cold and then after a moment they began to boil. She had no idea who he was, what he could do, or what he had been through. He had helped save the world for people like this but even she, a mortal nobody, could clearly see that Will existed on a plane completely separate from Nico.

 _Fine_ , he thought, pushing himself off the ground and getting to his feet. He wasn’t going to fight with her, wasn’t going to tell her she was wrong, and it wasn’t as if he wanted to be there anyway. He knew Will was already thoroughly disappointed and there wasn’t any reason to stay. Nico shook the sand from his hands, heading away from the beach and not stopping until the sounds of the boardwalk were long behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to acknowledge Texan!Will. CaliforniaSurferBoy!Will for life.
> 
> PS. I hate OCs. I'm sorry. I needed them for plot structure.
> 
> http://kazymyrz.tumblr.com/


	2. Part Two

It had never occurred to Nico to call himself a coward. He was used to being the first one into battle, throwing himself at danger in reckless ways because death was not something that scared him. Death was easy. Death was simple, and it was final. He never needed to worry about what would happen to him after the inevitable, he was familiar with the Underworld and he was familiar with the room waiting for him in his father’s palace. Nico knew that one day that room would be home and so the thought of dying valiantly in battle never scared him.

Until he met Will.

Now death seemed a lot more final. It was frightening not because of what would happen when he was dead but because of what he would be missing by not being alive. His fears were not about the end, but about a story being left unfinished with so many pages left to be written.

He wasn’t a coward. He was a warrior, someone feared and respected by both the living and the dead but walking away from the California coastline, Nico felt like none of those things.

 _He deserves better than this_ , Nico’s mind echoed, his skin crawling and something hot burning behind his eyes. He was tired of insecurities, even more so because now when they came to sit on his shoulders there was a voice that sounded (unsurprisingly) like Will’s to tell them they were all wrong. Nico didn’t even believe in most of the things they said anymore. The voices that hissed _you’re not good enough, you’re worthless_ weren’t as loud as they used to be because there were other voices fighting back with _I am good enough, you don’t decide what I’m worth_.

But it was chaos. It all sounded like madness and somewhere, miles from where the beach was, Nico dropped down onto a curb and held his head in his hands to try and quiet the noise.

_You’re nothing – Don’t listen to this bullshit. They hate you – Only because you tried to make them. You were never good enough for him – he’s the best thing that has ever happened to you. What’s so great about him anyway? – He’s the best friend you’ve ever had._

Nico dug his fingers into the roots of his hair and shook his head, trying to mute the racket. It used to be so quiet, so painfully quiet but at least he hadn’t felt insane. Now it was noise, noise, _noise_ and a constant battle of what he was and what he wasn’t.

It was exhausting, and he wasn’t confident that all the noise was better than the silence he had before.

Nico took a deep breath and looked up at the unfamiliar street. It looked like the sort of place Will and he might have walked by once or twice but there wasn’t anything memorable or notable about it. There was no reason for him to be there. He could go to Camp Jupiter. He hadn’t seen Hazel for a few weeks and he knew she probably wouldn’t ask too many questions if he turned up unexpectedly. He could go back to Camp Half-Blood where maybe Chiron might make a passing comment, but he was sure he could stay out of sight for a few days. He didn’t have to sit with the noise filling his head, but there was something gluing his feet to the concrete and holding him in place.

There were places he could go. He no longer existed in a world where he had no one to run to or no place to go. In fact, there were several places, several people who would welcome him in, it was just that despite all these things, there was still one place, one person who sat above the rest.

 _And what do you do when you’re running from that person?_ Nico thought _. What do you do when the only person you want to turn to is the one you turned away from?_

He groaned outwardly and knocked his fist into the ground.

Will was his safe place– his comfort zone. Their friendship gave him strength and the knowledge of Will always, _always_ being there for him made the world a comfortable place. Nico hadn’t had a best friend before, he had only had his sister, but learning how to be someone else’s friend wasn’t all that easy or even completely intuitive. There were some similarities, like the trust and comfort of a sibling, but then there was something completely different, something that made his heart forget its pattern and his hands want to reach out and touch.

Most of the time those thoughts (those _touch_ thoughts) were quickly pushed aside because the implications were dangerous and Nico wasn’t ready to lose something he just found.

_Because that’s what happens, you know. The things you love always leave you – No, they were stolen. They would have never left you by choice._

_You can leave him before he leaves you – Would facing him really be so bad?_

Nico’s mind quieted. It felt strange, like the thought of facing Will should have been frightening but then wasn’t actually terrifying at all. The conversation was certainly something he would like to avoid, but it didn’t make him all that uneasy. He knew he _could_ leave, but it wasn’t what he wanted because no matter how bad the argument Will and he would have, it wasn’t the worst thing he could think of.

Not talking to him, never being able to be close to him again sounded a lot, lot worse.

The acknowledgement brought on its own repercussions. A different set of voices spat at him and made him feel too dependent, too reliant. Nico didn’t need anyone. He was a child of Hades; the world of the living wasn’t really his home anyway. His power came from the dead. The darkness and the shadows were where he belonged. People like Will, made of sunshine and summer, weren’t the type of people he belonged with. Nico wasn’t meant to be able to touch something so close to perfection.

But… that didn’t feel entirely true. Maybe people like Will weren’t built from the same pieces as Nico was, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t belong together.

This was Will, the one who started their friendship by practically forcing him into the infirmary, and never, ever regarded Nico with any type of fear. He was the one who always fell asleep watching movies, always crowded too far into Nico’s space, and always understood when Nico needed to draw away and just fold into himself. He was patient, but he pushed when he needed too and he never treated Nico like glass. He was strong and constant, and when he smiled, even the stars seemed brighter.

He wasn’t perfect. No, he had plenty of his own flaws, plenty of his own insecurities, but it just served as a reminder that he was still partly human and the cloth he was cut from wasn’t all that different from Nico’s.

Maybe they weren’t built from the same pieces, maybe their fabric differed just enough, but it didn’t mean that together they weren’t still something worth trying for.

The red behind Nico’s eyes dulled. The guilt he had been avoiding steadily began to settle on his shoulders and he leaned forward onto his knees and let out a breath.

Will wasn’t being unreasonable. He was just trying to acclimate Nico to mortal life. Nico owed him an apology at the very least. Maybe he couldn’t fix everything, but he could try his very best to fix what was happening between Will and himself.

Something, somewhere must have agreed because his feet were already moving of their own accord and Nico felt a little like a bug being drawn to a fluorescent light.

By the time he found his way back to the apartment, it was much later than it should have been. Most of the apartments were dark and instead of walking forward to the door, Nico stood at the base of the steps and wondered where he was supposed to go from there. He didn’t know if Will was back, he didn’t know if Will was planning to come back at all or if he assumed Nico had run somewhere else. It was certainly something Nico would’ve done a few years ago, but that was before Will’s mother’s apartment started feeling like home and before he knew what it felt like to miss someone when they were gone, but still alive.

Nico sank down onto the stairs, staring at his shoes (another gift from Will’s mother) and twisted his fingers. He tried to ignore the sound of blood pounding in his ears and waited, listening to anything and everything, searching for some sort of direction and some sort of hint as to where Will was.

When it happened, it turned out that Nico felt him before he heard him. The white noise in his ears was still too loud but he knew, just like he always knew, that Will was close. Slowly, the sound of his footsteps moved past the buzzing and when Nico looked up, Will was rounding the corner with downcast eyes and hands shoved in his pockets. He didn’t notice Nico until he was almost right in front of him, and when he looked up, his eyes were hollow and unforgiving (and maybe even a little surprised).

 _That’s fair_ , Nico thought. _I deserve that_.

Neither of them said a word, and both struggled to make any sort of honest eye contact. Nico tugged at the sleeves of his jacket and Will clutched at one of his own arms, finally turning his head away and speaking with a low voice.

“I thought for sure you’d go to Camp Jupiter.”

Unable to stop himself Nico muttered: “ _maybe I did_ ” and instantly regretted his decision as Will tensed and snapped: “I know you didn’t. You would’ve never come back if you had.”

And Nico couldn’t tell him he was wrong, so he said nothing at all.

Will gripped his own arm so tightly his knuckles turned white and in a sudden movement, he walked past Nico, entirely too careful not to touch him, and unlocked the door to the complex.

Nico rose from the steps, following behind him without invitation. He knew Will wouldn’t turn him away, but he also understood that he didn’t deserve any hospitality. Nico was aware of every sound Will wasn’t making and how his movements, his body, seemed weighted. All of Will’s mannerisms were closed off and just watching him left a heavy lump sitting at the bottom of Nico’s stomach.

This was something that could have been entirely prevented, but Nico just couldn’t be bothered to be friendly.

The apartment was expectantly empty; Will’s mother had gone to work her shift at the hospital, and the room stood silent and dark. Will’s presence had its own effect on the darkness. His nature was to shine light and make things bright, but when he was upset, sometimes it seemed like even the shadows felt sorry for him

Nico leaned on the arm of the couch, watching as he moved through the room with low eyes. He didn’t seem to have a purpose, just an intense desire to not stop moving. Will had a habit of letting his mind race when he was upset and his hands couldn’t be left empty.

Seeing Will unhappy was a little like watching a star burn out – like watching something that was supposed to be eternal fizzle into nothingness, but dying wasn’t quite enough. Everything around the star slowly began to fade away because without light, without the star’s warmth, existence seemed impossible. The only thing left behind was darkness, staining the sky with its an unbearable, empty black mark of nothing with only the far off stars clinging to their own bit of light.

Nico sympathized. He understood that feeling more than he understood himself.

“Will,” Nico said into the emptiness, receiving no kind of acknowledgment or recognition. Will brushed by him and Nico tried again, reaching for his hand. “Hey, stop ignoring me for a second and just-“

Will’s hand ripped itself away before their skin touched.

The son of Hades blinked.

“Don’t,” Will said, clutching his hand to chest as if Nico were the one made of fire. “I know what you’re doing. I know you only do that when I’m upset because you think I’ll feel better but I know you don’t-“ Will let out a frustrated breath and Nico could see his eyes slam shut in an effort to keep something at bay. He inhaled and exhaled, dropping his shoulders before slowly opening his eyes. “If you don’t want to be here, just go.”

 _Please no_ , Nico thought.

Will was looking at him, but it wasn’t with eyes that Nico knew. These were locked and cold and the blue was something dark, like midnight or a bruise. The longer he looked at them the more he realized that this look, the one staring at him, was one Will must have picked up from Nico. This wasn’t Will; this was a defense.

And that was new.

“Is that what you want?” Nico asked, panic sitting just behind his ribs. Will coughed a spiteful sound.

“What I want doesn’t matter. You made that very clear.”

“You know that’s not-“

“I do? You’re sure about that? You’re telling me that you _didn’t_ go completely out of your way to be a total jerk to my friends even though you _knew_ it was important to me? That this is just something I’ve made up in my head? You didn’t even try, Nico!”

“I did-“

“No you didn’t! You didn’t even shake Holly’s hand! She’s a sweet girl and she was excited to meet you and you just-“

“I just what?” Nico snapped, feeling red creep back behind his eyes. “Let her down? The only thing she really cares about it getting your attention anyway so why does it matter what I do?”

Will’s forehead scrunched up into confusion. “What are- What are you even talking about?!”

“Are you serious? Do you _not_ realize that she can’t keep her hands off of you? It’s kind of-“

“So that’s what this is about? Some weird, bullshit jealousy over Holly? She’s my _friend_. Can I not have other friends all of a sudden?”

“She wants to be way more than-“

“Oh my _gods_ ,” Will cried. “She likes Poppy! She has since we were like twelve! She doesn’t even like guys!”

The room went silent. Nico blinked. “Poppy?”

“Pip. Whatever. Holly has been carrying a torch for her since forever.”

Time made a strange skip and Nico deflated back down onto the arm of the couch, not realizing he had stood. Will’s gaze was focused on his every move and Nico could practically _feel_ the questions that were sitting on the tip of his tongue.

 _Why does it bother you? Why does it matter? Why does_ any _of this matter?_

Nico tensed and turned his head away. He wasn’t ready to face the answers to those questions.

 _“_ They didn’t like me anyway,” he mumbled, deflecting the comments and refusing to watch as Will began to unravel.

“What- What is- Why would you even think that? She wasn’t even- she spent the entire time trying to make you feel comfortable and Pip-“

“Don’t even. She _really_ didn’t like me.”

“Well can you blame her? After the way you were treating her friends? I’d be pissed off too. If someone acted like that to you- I just- I don’t get-“ Will crumpled in on himself, his hands bunched into fists around his head as wetness started to leak out of the corner of his eyes. “I just don’t get it. I- I wanted your friends to like me _so_ bad. I wanted Hazel to be friends with me and Reyna to feel like I was, I don’t know, _worthy_ of your friendship or something and I just- I tried _so hard_ and it wasn’t like I wasn’t terrified the entire time – because I was – but it was important to you, so it was important to me and that meant everything. That meant so much more than me just wanting to crawl under a rock and hide, and I- I just wanted- I wanted it to be the same for you but I guess none that, or this, or… _whatever-_ None of it mattered.”

 _But it did_ , Nico thought, feeling small and like maybe he was mad about something that really wasn’t about him at all.

Will wasn’t really… mad. The anger that was there was masking something else and Nico suddenly felt so guilty that he couldn’t do what Will had done for him.

He remembered what it had been like to have Will at Camp Jupiter, the way he was so proud to introduce his friend to Hazel, Frank, and Reyna. He had desperately wanted all of them to like each other and the joy he felt when Will completely exceeded his expectations and left even Reyna a little enamored with him was something that Nico had never felt before. The entire time had been so much better than he could have even hoped for and he was grateful, so grateful that Will was who he was.

 _“I like him_ ,” Reyna had told him with a secret sort of smile when they were leaving. _“He knows you could beat him in a fair fight but he never backs down and he’s certainly not intimidated by you. He treats you like an equal, and for you I think that’s something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.”_

But Nico had, and the regret that churned his stomach was enough to make him want to throw up.

Will stared at him with unsteady, shining eyes and Nico was ashamed to not know what he was thinking. Will had always been open and honest. Nico didn’t need to read things into Will because everything was right there on his sleeve. Now there was something low and hurt in his eyes, but Nico’s wits were disarmed and he couldn’t think of a single word to say.

He hadn’t wanted to meet Will’s friends, that was entirely too true, but it really hadn’t been about him; It had been about treating Will as an equal, treating him with the same reverence he treated Nico with. Unfortunately, the realization seemed to come too little too late.

Nico dropped his eyes away from Will’s and felt penitent, like he had let Will down in the worst sort of ways because he couldn’t even do something as simple as play nicely with his friends. Will had every reason to be hurt, and it made Nico’s chest tighten as the two sat in silence with only the sound of Will fighting back tears.

 _I never wanted to be the reason you cried_ , Nico thought, flicking his eyes up only briefly to catch the sight of Will wiping his eyes.  _People like you, they’re not meant to hurt. You’re too beautiful to cry._

Nico wanted to tell Will as much, but instead, he looked at him and said: “I hate when you cry.”

After a moment of silence Will let out a bitter sound and used the heel of his hand to wipe his cheeks. “Yeah. I know I’m an ugly crier.”

Nico shook his head, watching as the moon cast its blue light across Will’s skin and the way that even in darkness, he glowed. His eyes were so fragile, and his hair was a mess from where his hands had been earlier, but he was perfect. He was exactly what Nico thought of when he thought of why the world was worth saving and there was nothing – _nothing –_ that could ever make him feel differently.

“No,” Nico said, thinking that there must be a word for this feeling but not being able to place it. “Nothing about you is ugly.”

Will’s hand froze on his face and for a moment, neither of them spoke or took a breath. Will’s face painted itself with confusion and then it slowly changed, turning into something painful and bewildered. Tension spread through his body like a ripple and soon he was shaking, so distressed, so intensely angry that Nico thought he might actually fall to pieces. Will’s eyes dissolved into slits, and he shot Nico a vehement glare before turning his entire body away, opening the door to his room and closing it with Nico on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://kazymyrz.tumblr.com/


	3. Part Three

Nico wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed before Will’s door opened. The only thing he _was_ sure about was that he was leaning against it when it did.

The result probably should have been comical (there were a lot of flailing limbs and a face full of carpet on Nico’s end) but Nico was so relieved to see the door finally open that even as the surprise of toppling over onto the floor registered across Will’s features, nothing seemed to alter the overwhelming look of defeat on his face.

Nico’s heart stuttered and tried to catch several beats at once. He scrambled to right himself, staring up at Will, who looked at him blankly. His clothes from earlier had been traded in for the ones he usually slept in and the larger folds of clothing did nothing but make him look small and meek. 

Nico’s entire core ached.

“What are you doing?” Will asked in a raw voice – too soft and too fragile to sound completely like himself. Nico stared at him helplessly, momentarily panicking and sweeping his eyes around the room as if looking for an answer.

“Waiting outside your door?”

“Why?”

“Because I- I was… waiting for you to come out?”

Will let out a breath and stepped over Nico, who darted up onto his feet and followed him into the kitchen.

“Will. I uh- I know this- I know this is a mess but are you-“

“Don’t.”

“I _can’t-_ “ Nico swallowed and watched as Will continued to stay completely faced away from him. “Please talk to me.”

“Why? So you can run out on me too?”

“No, I- Look. I know. I’m a total asshole. I get that. But I wouldn’t. Not on you. I wouldn’t ever run out on you. I don’t think I could.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“I am,” Nico said with enough confidence to surprise even himself. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Will stopped in his tracks, pausing before turning abruptly and meeting Nico with hard, red-rimmed eyes and square shoulders. “So talk then.”

“Well- I- I don’t-“ Nico waved his hands nervously. “I don’t know. What do you want me to say?”

Will threw his own hands into the air and turned to walk away again, but Nico reached out and latched onto his wrist. Will shot him a cold look and tried to yank himself away but Nico held on tightly.

“Will. Come on. Knock it off. I’m not trying to pull anything I just-”

“ _I_ need to knock it off? Because _I’m_ the one who is acting like a spoiled brat?”

“Well, not in general, but right now you are. I’m trying to talk to you but all you want to do is shove me off and run away.”

“Says the guy who _literally_ ran away from my friends and me earlier tonight.”

“Not _literally_. I _walked_ away from your friends-“

“Honestly?!”

“Well _yeah_. You said _literally_ so if you want to get technical _-"_

“Oh my gods. You’re being totally serious right now.”

“Um, I think so? I don’t even know what I am right now I just-“

“Are you hearing yourself?!”

“Not really! You keep throwing me off! I’m trying to-”

“Right. So this is _my_ fault _-”_

“Will,” Nico said sharply. “I need you to just stop and listen for like two minutes, okay? I can’t apologize to you if you just keep arguing with me. I don’t know how to do this. Any of this. But I’m trying to… _try_ and you’re not exactly helping.”

Will slammed his mouth shut, glaring back at him and daring him to speak. “Fine. Go ahead.”

Nico took a breath. “Thank you. Now… I- I’m still really new to this. I know you think that’s stupid and that by now I _should_ be a little better at this but I’m really not. I’m still not awesome with… _living_ people and honestly? I’m not totally sure I ever will be. I _am_ trying. I swear. Even though it might not seem like it, I _am_ trying and I know you want-”

“Stop making it sound like I’m trying to change you,” Will said with a sour face. “That’s not what this is about, I just want-“

“No, I know,” Nico nodded. “I know you’re not trying to change me, you’re just trying to… help me be a normal human being and… I’ll level with you. Your work has been cut out for you. My social skills are weak, at best, and even _that_ is being pretty generous. I don’t know how to be a friend, I don’t know how to talk to new people, and I don’t really even know what I’m saying right now. I know things are different than they used to be but I still assume everyone is scared of me. I don’t know how to be a mortal, I’m not great at sharing and I’m even worse at sharing you because despite all the aforementioned shitty traits, you still choose to hang out with me and I am just waiting for the day that you decide that maybe this is all not worth it and there are other people out there with less baggage and it would just be easier if you-“

“That’s bullshit and you know it-“

“I do,” Nico agreed. “You’re right. I do know that. Kind of. Sort of. Sometimes. Other times all I can think about is how it’s only a matter of time and you- You were right. Your friends, they _are_ good people, even if one of them is a little rough around the edges-“

“Pot, meet kettle.”

“Fair enough, but you know what I mean. I know I wasn’t being fair to them and I _really_  wasn’t being fair to you but I don’t really know how to- It was all just- …I don’t know. I know I was wrong. I’ve spent all night thinking about just how wrong I am but- I don’t- … _Will._ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Will said nothing, but his frustration gradually began to wane. The tension in his shoulders slowly began to dissipate and Nico was relieved to see his eyes soften into something more pensive, as if trying to solve a riddle or decide the best way to treat a patient.

Nico still wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, just that he was doing his best and he was really, _really_ sorry. This wasn’t something he had set out to do and it all went wrong so quickly, He was babbling, he knew, but Will had always seemed to have some innate ability to understand Nico when no one else could.

Nico needed this fixed. Will was important. He was the most important thing Nico could think of, and he was desperate to make it right.

“I’m not… entirely sure why this is so new to you,” Will started, eyebrows stitched in confusion. “You have other friends and you’re just fine at camp. We’ve never had any weirdness like this with new campers and you don’t have a problem with Lou Ellen or Cecil so… I just don’t get why this is so different. “

Nico tried to shrug, but the image of Will hugging Holly, being tugged away by her hand, burned its way into the front of Nico’s eyes and he felt uncomfortably heated all over. “I don’t- I don’t really understand it either. It feels… really weird, like there’s something I’m missing. These are just… people I don’t know? They know you differently than I do and it’s kind of like you’ve got this entire other life-“

“I do-”

“-that I’m not a part of it, and I’m not sure I fit in to-“

“But you _do_!” Will cried, his voice cracking and his eyes turning frantic before they glossed over. Nico stilled, shocked at the unexpected burst of emotion and Will made a frustrated noise and turned away, gripping at his head like he was in some sort of pain. It only took a second before Nico instinctively stepped forward, his hands reaching out to bring Will close but he stopped midway, watching Will tense before slowing his breath and turning back around to look at Nico with fragile eyes.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… this is all a mess. I’m so tired of pretending and hiding and you- you’re the only one who _knows_ or even really understands who I am and it’s just- I hate this. I’m always someone else. I can’t- even with my mom. I can’t… _honestly_ tell her everything about me. She would be worried sick all the time. She doesn’t really understand who I am at Camp Half-Blood and- and it _is_ like two separate lives – demigod and mortal – and it’s _exhausting_. I feel like I’m always sort of playing pretend no matter where I am but you- you’re like... this happy place in the middle and I don’t have to hide what I am or pretend I’m some indomitable medic because with you- You just- You _know_ and I- I don’t know. You’re my best friend, Nico. I don’t have anyone else in the world who gets this like you do and- and I just wanted- I wanted to- I mean I _always_ want-”

Will choked and raised his hand to wipe his eyes, but Nico was already stepping into his space, using his thumb to brush away the wetness from Will’s cheek. Will watched him with pained eyes and then raised his hands to twist into the fabric of Nico’s shirt, tugging him forward and dropping his head onto Nico’s shoulder. Nico let himself be pulled, let Will move him where he wanted him, and when Will was settled, Nico rested one hand on the back of Will’s neck and tucked him close.

“You’re mine too,” Nico whispered with his mouth against Will’s ear. “You’re my best friend. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Will hiccupped and tightened his grip into Nico’s shirt. His hands stayed fisted with white knuckles but when Nico placed his free hand over them, they slowly began to loosen until Nico could gently fold one of them his own.

Will’s breath shook with every inhale. Nico could feel the unsteady tempo as Will’s shoulders rose and fell. He instinctively held Nico in place, silently asking him, _begging_ him, not to go ( _which is a little ridiculous_ , Nico thought idly, because neither love nor money nor an entire Earth-shattering apocalypse could possibly tear him away).

Nico squeezed him close, feeling the warmth and wetness of Will’s face as he pressed it into Nico’s neck. He let his fingers creep up into the hair at the base of Will’s hairline and then he nudged his nose into the top of Will’s head, taking a deep, familiar breath.

Will smelled like beach, and boardwalk, and generic shampoo, like staying up all night to catch up on 70 years of movies, and laughing so hard their stomachs ached. He smelled like waking up late on Sunday mornings and like the warm, buttery hue that the sun cast in the middle of the afternoon when the midday drowsiness sat just at the tops of their eyelids. Will was warmth, and comfort, and something else that made Nico nervous, terrified, and overwhelmingly happy all at once.

B _est friend_ didn’t really do Will justice, but it was all Nico could place into words for now.

Gradually, over minutes or hours (Nico didn’t really know), Will’s breaths stopped quivering and his hold weakened on Nico’s shirt. He slowly lifted his head, and when he did, Nico ran his thumb along the side of his neck and guided him until their foreheads gently bumped and rested against each other. Will sniffed once, twice, and then settled his weight against Nico’s.

“I’m sorry,” Nico said into the space between them. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know... me too. It’s-“

Nico shook his head. “No. It’s not okay.”

Will held his breath and then shrank, letting out a broken sound.  

Nico pursed his lips and tightened his hold. He closed his eyes, trying to stop the liquid that was creeping forward but it wasn’t enough. His body ached, every part of him feeling Will’s pain as if it were his own. He _hurt,_ deep and low and in a way that made him want to reach into his chest and rip his heart out. He needed to touch, and hold, and put all the pieces that were falling away from Will back together.

“Please,” Nico said. “I know I really messed this up and I know I can’t fix everything but- …do you- do you think they’d give me a second chance?”

Will’s forehead scrunched and Nico could feel it before he could see it. Will lifted his head, accidently bumping their noses together and Nico went cross-eyed trying to look at him so closely. Will’s eyelashes were damp and dark and perfect. They were delicate curves swept into sharp triangles and Nico could see the red that ran like cracks through his eyes but it didn’t matter because the blue was still… _so blue_. Nico’s eyes raked across his face, counting all the freckles that were too hard to see from a distance. There were so many, and even more when they were this close. There was the faintest shadow of one just under his left eye, another right above the curve of his mouth and that’s when Nico realized… _his mouth._

It was so much closer than it had ever been, and a nervous heat doused over Nico in a flash. His palms turned clammy and his hand slipped from Will’s neck to his collar as his tongue unconsciously darted out to wet his lips. Will stayed frozen, breathing out against Nico’s mouth but he didn’t pull away. There was only the smallest space between them, and Nico didn’t want it there. He didn’t _ever_ want it there. He could-

Will cleared his throat, awkward and shaky. He took a stumbling step back and his freckles (even the one right below his eye and the one right above his mouth) stood particularly dark against his cheeks. His eyes dropped to the ground.

Nico swallowed very, _very_ hard.

_What did I almost just do?_

Nico heaved in a breath, trying to reel his mind back in as he stood simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the distance between Will and himself. He shook his head, rattling his thoughts and tried to remember what they were talking about.

“I uh- Your um- your friends,” Nico stuttered. “Do you think they would give me a second chance?”

Will stood perfectly still, fingers tentatively touching his lips as if he couldn’t believe what had almost just happened. He blinked at Nico several times, as if just noticing he was there and tried to clear the haze that was clouding his mind. “I uh- what? I don’t- Oh. Yeah. I mean. Sure. They would. Probably.”

“Then uh… maybe we can try again?” Will’s eyes shot up and Nico tried not to stare at his mouth.

“Try… meeting my friends?”

“Yes,” Nico replied in a rush, taking a full step back and looking everywhere but Will. “Exactly. Meeting your friends. I could um… even try not to be a total jerk this time.”

Will didn’t look entirely convinced, but at least he stopped looking like he was in a fog. “When?”

“Tomorrow?”

“And… you think that’s really possible?”

“About meeting them tomorrow? I don’t know. I mean, we can ask. They might be-”

“No,” Will said, shaking his head. “I mean about you. Managing to not be a total jerk.”

Nico paused and a cautious smirk crept up onto his face as he noticed Will’s eyes had a familiar spark. Nico’s chest swelled and he took a playful swipe as Will let out a brief “ _hey!_ ” that was tainted by the ghost of his laugh. It was small, and it was barely there, but its promise made Nico’s chest threaten to burst. He smiled up at Will, open and honest, and the son of Apollo hesitantly started returning it before clamping his hands down over his face and turning away.

Any awkwardness that had previously been in the room vanished.

“No. This is not happening,” Will said through his hands. “I’m _mad_ at you. Like… _really, legitimately_ mad. You are _not_ making me smile right now.”

Nico let out a relieved breath and tried to pry Will’s hands from his face. “Oh come on. I said I was sorry.”

“No way. You’re such an asshole.”

“I know but it’s the only way I know how to be,” Nico said, trying to peer through. “And you have to admit, I’m kind of getting better and according to you, I’m like your happy place or something-”

“Oh my gods,” Will wailed, uncovering his face and trying to escape from the room before Nico locked his arms around him. “You can’t throw stuff like that back in my face. I was emotionally compromised. I don’t even know what I was saying.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

Will squirmed and tried to get out of his arms, but Nico tightened his hold. This was much easier. It made sense to touch Will when they were joking and sparring with each other. This was simple. This was normal, and even though Nico still felt tiny sparks of electricity, at least his heartbeat was back on track.

Will let out a puff of air that ruffled his fringe. “What’s wrong with you? You’re being awfully clingy. Are you tired?”

“Are you complaining?”

“I am suspicious.”

“Are you saying I only touch you when I’m tired?”

“How observant. Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying. But also when I’m upset. You’ll try it then too.”

“Is that why you threw a fit earlier?”

“It wasn’t a _fit_. But yes. Something like that.”

“ _Something like that_ ,” Nico mocked, careful of his proximity to Will’s face. “And I don’t only do it then either.”

“Um, history has dictated otherwise, Neeks. You almost always- What? Why are you looking at me like that? Stop it. It’s freaking me out.”

Nico smirked broadly and loosened his hold. “You’re not mad at me anymore,” he said confidently.

“Oh really? And what gave you that impression?”

“Because when you’re mad you call me Nico.”

Will watched him with steady, even eyes, pausing before letting out an annoyed sound and weaseling out of Nico’s grasp, biting away a smile in an effort to still look frustrated. “You are the worst best friend ever.”

“I know, but you’re the only one I’ve ever had and I’m learning as I go.” Nico pushed a hand through his own hair. “And I’m not _that_ bad. I could be worse. I’m a decent guest, at least.” Will stuck his tongue out and Nico made a grab at it before his hand was smacked away. “You look exhausted, Will.”

“I _am_ exhausted. _You_ are exhausting. _Life_ is exhausting.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Only a little.”

Nico laughed through his nose and turned his attention to the living room. “Come on, let’s go to bed. Today was a shit day. I promise tomorrow will be better.”

“It wasn’t all shit and technically…” Will glanced over at a clock. “ _Today_ has already started so the clock is ticking, buddy boy.”

“All right, well if you want to get _technical_ , you look like you’re about to _literally_ pass out so let’s crash.”

Will made another annoyed sound and disappeared into his room. Nico rolled his eyes and hopped over the back of the couch, crossing the mattress and digging through Will’s movie collection before he found what he wanted. Will returned with arms full of pillows, dropping them onto the mattress and giving Nico an odd look.

“What are you doing?”

“Turning on _The Goonies_ ,” Nico said, crawling back onto the mattress. “I actually kind of want to see it.”

Will shoved him in the shoulder with his foot. “Really?!”

“There are pirates!”

“And you couldn’t just _not_ be an asshole for a couple hours and watch it at the beach with the rest of us?”

“I’m a flawed human, Will. We’ve established this.”

Will dropped down onto the couch, head in his hands. “You’re such a pain in the ass,” he bemoaned with no real malice, voice muffled by his hands. Nico smiled and moved forward, resting his chin on top of Will’s knees.

“I guess it’s lucky I have you then. You’re clearly the better half of us.”

Will lowered his hands from his face, giving Nico a long look before flicking him in the forehead. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.”

“It’s not,” Will said, ruffling Nico’s hair before letting his hand rest there. “And I’m not the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“Um, pretty sure you are.”

“No-“

“I mean, I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me so it’s not like it takes much to be the best but-“

“Stop talking. I liked you better when you were groveling.”

Nico hid his smile into Will’s knee. “I meant it though. That was 100% pure, organic, free range honesty.”

“Organic honesty, huh? Is it cage free too?”

“Duh. It’s free range. It’s honesty straight from the fields.”

Will ducked his head and laughed softly. “And what about meeting my friends again, did you mean that too?”

All the warmth in Nico’s body disappeared and a small jolt of panic shot straight up into his throat. Will looked up at him with hopeful, delicate eyes, the edges were still red and he looked so, so tired.  Seeing Holly and Pip again, especially after their catastrophic first meeting, was the last thing Nico wanted to do, but he nodded, slow and firm.

“Yeah. I meant that too.”

 A light appeared in the back of Will’s eyes and the dread that Nico felt was gone.

 _I don’t know what I’m doing_ , Nico thought. _But I know I just want to see you happy_.

“Come on,” he said, tugging at Will’s leg. “Watch this with me.”

Will shook his head. “I don’t think I’m going to be awake longer than ten minutes.”

“Then just come sit.”

“But I’m going to fall asleep.”

“So what?”

“Well then are _you_ going to sleep on the-“

Nico gave a hard pull at his leg, dropping him off the couch and halfway into Nico’s lap. “Would you take a hint?”

“ _You_ take a hint,” Will scowled, settling in between Nico’s legs and squirming the two of them into a more comfortable position. It took a good bit of moving, but when Will settled, his back was firm and warm against Nico’s chest, and he was slouched just slightly, using one of Nico’s arms as a pillow, while Nico leaned back against the couch.

It was much more contact than they usually had, especially when it wasn’t disguised as a tussle or innocent jabbing. It reminded Nico of the time he woke up next to Will in his cabin, and how since then the closest they had ever gotten to sleeping next to each other was when there was still room for an entire other body between them. He was used to being in Will’s space, falling asleep on his shoulder and watching movies with Will’s legs flung across his lap, but this was different. This was halfway between almost kissing him and their normal, everyday habits. It made Nico feel soft and affectionate all over, like Will was something precious and he was Nico’s to protect.

_Best friend doesn’t really cut it._

“Hey,” Nico said. “Were you serious about Holly earlier?”

“About her and Pip?”

“Yeah.”

Will nodded, his hair tickling against Nico’s arm. “Yeah, but you can’t tell her I told you. She’d freak out. You also can’t let Pip know that I told you her real name.”

“Poppy?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not so bad.”

Will raised an eyebrow. “Does she really look like a Poppy?”

Nico recalled the train wreck of rebellion who had almost out-glared him earlier in the evening and then conceded with a hum. “Yeah. Maybe not. Does she know about Holly?”

“I don’t think so. She hasn’t really come out and said it, at least not to me or Holly, but I figure she has to have some kind of clue. How could she not?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she – would you stop squirming? – maybe she doesn’t want to assume anything. Even if she does know, it’s scary isn’t it? If something went wrong she could lose her best friend and- I swear to the gods, Will. Stop moving.”

“Oh quit it. You’re not exactly the pinnacle of comfort, you know. And I get it but it just feels like they could both be really happy together and instead they’re just… not. I don’t know – move your arm – I guess it makes sense but I wish one of them would say something.”

Nico hummed an agreement and Will finally settled with his cheek leaned against Nico’s arm and yawned broadly. “Unrelated to any of that, this isn’t weird, right?” he said through the yawn. “Like… me sitting here. Is it weird?”

Nico shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

“Even though it’s like borderline cuddling?”

“Maybe, but whatever.”

“You’re okay with it?”

 _Of course I’m okay with it. I almost kissed you earlier, what do you think?_ Nico thought but instead said: “Yeah. I’m good,” and the answer seemed to placate Will.

“Okay,” he said, sinking back down and dropping his head back against Nico’s arm as his eyes fell shut. “You know, two years ago you would’ve stabbed me for this.”

“Two years ago I would’ve stabbed you for a lot less.”

“But now?” Will asked, turning his head back to look at Nico before casting a glance at the bracelet around his wrist. “What about now?”

“Now I just want to hold a pillow over your face until you slowly stop breathing.”

“Hey! Be nice. You _owe_ me, pal. I feel like I caved pretty easy over all this.”

“Yeah, but fishing for compliments? That’s pushing it.”

“Well that’s kind of our friendship in a nutshell. Just me… pushing it.”

Nico watched as Will’s features began to droop and he reached over and flicked the side of Will’s head. “Knock it off.”

“You knock it off. You don’t get to monopolize self-doubt, Death Boy. I have every right to be-“

“Stupid,” Nico said, dropping his head on top of Will’s. “You’re so stupid. I literally can’t believe you.”

“And _I_ ,” Will started, trying to push Nico’s head off of his own. “Can’t believe that you manage to be such a huge asshole all the time. It shouldn’t even be possible. Do you just like… _thrive_ on the misery of others or is it just me in particular-“

Nico caught Will’s hand.

“I…” Nico began in a low voice. “Would never lay a hand on you, nor would I ever let anyone else. They would never even get the chance.”

Will held his breath and then slid his gaze back to the bracelet around Nico’s wrist where the sun-shaped bead was glowing steady and golden. His entire body softened and he leaned in to Nico’s touch. “I know,” he said quietly, raising his hand to touch the stone. “I know you’d never let anything bad happen to me if you could help it.”

Nico nodded and watched as Will focused intently on the small sun around his wrist. Two years ago he had shyly wrapped it around Nico’s wrist and asked him to watch it, but any time Nico asked what it was, Will went sort of strange and fidgety. Nico knew it has something to do with Apollo, he knew that it was some sort of gift and, according to Will, impossible to lose. Nico never had the chance to find out if that was true, never had the chance to see if the gem would go back to Will or him, because Nico guarded it carefully, reverently, like it was a part of Will.

It kept his nightmares at bay, kept him calm and unafraid of what would happen next and when the world seemed pitch black, it cast golden light into the darkest parts.

Nico didn’t want to ever give it back and he hoped Will never asked.

“What is it?” Nico asked, just as he had dozens of times before and Will shrugged too casually, too fast (just as he had dozens of times before).

“I don’t know. Lee just said to keep it safe.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“I don’t really believe you.”

“Believe what you want then."

“You’re not telling me something.”

“Yeah and you can tell yourself all you want that you’d never lay a hand on me but I’m pretty sure you’ve got your hands _all over_ -“

Nico gave him a hard shove and Will tumbled forward, dissolving into a pile of laughter. Nico pushed him with his foot, trying to knock him off the mattress but Will just curled up on his side and continued to snicker to himself as he stayed firmly put. Will opened his mouth to say something but Nico let out an annoyed huff and dropped himself forward, fitting himself up against Will’s back and reaching down to throw a blanket over the both of them.

“You’re so annoying,” Nico said flinging an arm over Will’s side and tucking him close. Will tried to quiet his laughs, his body vibrating as he shifted his hand so it sat under Nico’s.

“Come _on_. You walked into that one.”

“Because I assumed that not even you would make a joke _that_ bad.”

“Don’t be so judge-y. I’m your best friend. You picked me.”

“I really need to evaluate some of my life choices.”

“Out of all your life choices I can guarantee that I am not the worst.”

“That’s debate-able.”

Will shoved an elbow back into Nico’s stomach, telling him to “ _shut up and watch your movie”_ and Nico let out a small “ _oof”_ before chuckling and ducking his smile into Will’s hair.

Nico wasn’t entirely sure what was happening on the television (something about pirates and maps and _oh my gods what happened to that guy’s face?!_ ), but it really didn’t matter. Will’s body was warm and his hand right underneath Nico’s own. The bead on his wrist was glowing slow and steady, and Nico could barely see the the smallest of smiles curled up in Will’s lips as his eyes fell shut.

 _You’re my person_ , Nico thought easily, naturally, like it was simply part of who he was. _And I will always keep you safe_.

He dipped his head lower, breathing in summertime and beach and late night movies. He nuzzled into the space behind Will’s ear. “I guess it would be a short debate,” Nico said. “I would pick you every single time.”

The smile on Will’s lips grew broader and he settled further back into Nico’s body, weaving his fingers up and through Nico’s until they were laced tightly together.

“Me too,” he said. “I would always pick you.”

Nico’s chest tied itself into knots and he nodded, suddenly overwhelmed by the idea that maybe the body in his hands was more delicate, more fragile than he could ever imagine. He squeezed Will’s hand and buried his face into the back of Will’s neck, pressing his mouth to the skin because if he didn’t, he might burst.

Any remaining tension in Will’s body disappeared, and for a moment Nico almost felt like the bead against his wrist grew warmer. _This is what the gods must feel like_ , he thought, nose pressed to Will’s skin. _I want to stay like this forever. I don’t want to world to get in the way. I don’t want to lose you._

Will shifted and nudged his head back toward Nico’s.

“We’re okay, Neeks,” he breathed out, as if reading Nico’s mind. “We’ll always be okay. I promise.”

“I know. I just- …that’s not really something you can promise, Will.”

“I can and I will,” Will replied, pressing a kiss to where their hands were joined, bringing them close to his chest and watching the steady, golden rhythm around Nico’s wrist as if it were a lifeline. “We’ll always be okay.”

Nico said nothing and Will shifted, moving onto his back and placing their hands right over his heart. He looked up at Nico with fond eyes.

“I mean it,” he said. “There’s nothing in this world that we can’t figure out.”

Nico ducked his head down, unable to honestly look at Will without his heart racing. “You say that but the world has a funny way of pushing those limits.”

“I know, but I don’t think we even really have a choice,” Will said, pressing Nico’s hand to his heartbeat and making Nico feel warm and soft all over. “It’s just what happens when we’re together and I don’t think we could be different even if we tried. I think it’s the only way we know how to be.”

Nico held his breath and counted the steady heartbeats under his fingertips. Maybe Will was right. Maybe it had been fate and maybe all the misery, all the challenges both of them had faced so early had led to this point where they both felt safe and calm and a little invincible. All that pain, all that loneliness felt like it had happened a lifetime go and it just seemed so stupidly unpoetic that all of it, all that _bad_ , could be undone by a boy with freckles and blue eyes who taught him how to laugh.

Nico shook his head, letting out his breath as a loud puff of air against Will’s neck. “You’re out of control,” he said finally. “It’s like 2AM and you’re talking about fate and forever and-“

Will started laughing. “Oh shut up. You’ve looked like a kicked puppy all night and I’m trying to let you know that something like this won’t ruin our friendship.”

“But something else might?”

“Don’t test me, di Angelo.”

Nico chuckled. “Yeah okay, but go to sleep already.”

“Fine,” Will conceded, rolling over and pressing into Nico’s space. He shifted several times, tucking his head under Nico’s chin and Nico rolled his eyes when Will huffed out a breath and couldn't get comfortable.

“You’re a mess,” Nico said affectionately.

“ _Your_ mess.”

“I guess so.”

“But it’s good right?”

Nico smiled and dropped his nose into Will’s hair. “Yeah. It’s good. And anyway, like you said: it’s the only way we know how to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this spiraled out of control. Whoops :p
> 
> Thank you, _thank you_ to everyone who has been so amazing and _so_ supportive with all the kudos and comments. You are totally awesome.
> 
> If you need me/have questions/just want to say hi... I'll be on Tumblr, probably whining about editing more writing :p You guys are the best.
> 
> http://kazymyrz.tumblr.com/


	4. Mini-Epilogue

“Oh for the love of- _Will_. Stop _moving_. You’re making all the sand fall.”

“It’s _cold_ ,” Will complained, tugging his sweatshirt further around himself to try and keep out the ocean’s wind. He burrowed further into the blankets that had Holly brought, nestling himself down into the sand but finding nothing but cold earth. He wrinkled his nose. “I think I’m dying.”

Nico gave him an unimpressed look. “Really. That’s very interesting because I was pretty sure that you were supposed to be helping.”

“That was before this beach turned into Siberia.”

“Would you just-“

“I’m serious! I’m dying and you’ve got that nice fucking jacket and I’m-“

“Oh for fucks sake.” Nico said, dropping himself into the hollowed out seat next to Will and slinging an arm around Will’s shoulder to yank him down into his space. Will accepted the additional body warmth with greedy hands, pushing his face into Nico’s chest as Nico lifted the hood of Will’s jacket and tucked it over his head. “How can you possibly be _this_ whiney all the time?”

“I’m _cold_.”

“Right. So that seems like a completely reasonable excuse to be unbearable.”

“You say that as if I need one.”

“Yeah, apparently not. Well then let me rub salt into the wound by taking this time to remind you that this was _your_ idea.”

“Because the last time we tried to do this it went horribly wrong and I kind of feel like we owe it to them.”

“ _We_ don’t owe them anything. _I_ owed them something and I’ve paid my debts.”

“Just because Pip crushes you at _Mario Kart_ does not mean you have _paid your debts_ , Neeks.”

Nico grunted. “Whatever. Plus, you’re not the one who went head-to head with that soda bottle from Tartarus.” Will muffled a laugh into the leather of Nico’s jacket, squeezing his arm around Nico’s middle and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest as his lungs expanded and contracted.

Will closed his eyes.

“Hey,” Nico said, jabbing his fingers into Will’s sides. “Tartarus is no laughing matter.”

“I know, I know but the soda-splosion looked so good on you.”

“Yeah well, mom didn’t think it was so funny.”

“That’s because you dripped it all the way from the kitchen to the shower.”

“How was I supposed to avoid that? I was soaked.”

“I told you to take your shirt off before walking through the house but what do I know?”

“Not a lot other than a surprising amount of thinly veiled excuses to get me out of my clothes.”

Will let out a puff of air. “It was a legitimate suggestion; everything else was just a bonus.”

“You’re gross.”

“I am only human.”

Nico tucked the blankets further around Will and grumbled: “Not really.”

Will opened his eyes and moved his head far enough away to catch a glimpse of Nico’s face. His eyes were out towards the ocean but there was colour high in his cheeks. Will grinned, fighting the urge to lean forward and push his nose against Nico’s. He was being especially tactile today and Will didn’t want to push it.

Days like these were rare, but Will lived for them.

“How long until the movie starts?” Nico asked.

“Hmm?” Will said. “Uh, I dunno. Maybe a few minutes? They should be back any second.”

“They better be bringing popcorn. I’m starving.”

“Hopefully they’re bringing parkas too. And hot chocolate. And soup. And-“

“Shut up. It’s not that bad.”

“Not all of us are creatures of the Underworld.”

“Yeah and most of us aren’t gigantic wusses either.”

“Rude.”

Nico flicked him in the back of the head and Will buried his nose in to the collar of his jacket.

Nico had always smelled like something that Will couldn’t quite place. He smelled similar to familiar things like the detergent that Will’s mom washed both their clothes in, like October mornings when the  air bit back and the leaves started falling to the ground. He smelled like Halloween, and frost, and the way midnight felt when they were awake and the rest of the world was asleep.

It was comforting. It was familiar.

It was dangerous. And sometimes it was all too much.

Will tried not to think about the arm around his shoulder, the steady heartbeat under his ear, and the hand that was now resting on his arm, drawing soothing circles into his sweatshirt. Will knew better, knew that this was a dangerous game to play, but he never had much sense to pull away, to say that maybe this was just one step too far because his heart could only take so much and he knows – he _knows_ what it all means, but he couldn’t bear to think it or say it out loud. 

Things weren’t as simple as they once were. Talking about most things had been (not easy but) _doable_ but now there was something else. It sparked low in the pit of his stomach whenever Nico was close and it crept up into Will’s chest and out to his fingertips. It consumed almost every part of him and it hurt, in a beautiful sort of way but it still made him wonder how long it would be until it burned him alive.

(But that wasn’t entirely new. Nico’s cold hands had always seared scars into Will’s skin.)

“Ugh. You guys are gross.”

Will startled at the sound of Pip’s voice. Nico groaned and Will could tell, purely based on the movement of his hand, that he was already flipping Pip off from behind Will’s back. Will peered over his shoulder and Pip stood with arms full of snacks and an expression of overly dramatic disgust as she mimicked Nico’s gesture. Holly stood next to her, arms equally as full of snacks, giving Will an envious look before turning to Pip.

“Why don’t _we_ cuddle?”

Pip shot an unamused look at Nico. “Now look what you’ve done.”

“Sounds like your problem, not mine.”

Holly made a mocking sound and then dropped down next to Will, setting the snacks in front of her before attaching herself around Will’s back and doing her best to burrow her way into their cocoon.

“Oh my god. Will, you’re so warm.”

Nico huffed. “You should have been here like five minutes ago. He swore he was freezing to death.”

“So dramatic,” Holly said into the back of Will’s sweatshirt.

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m a delicate creature that should have a heat lamp at all times.”

Holly laughed into the fabric of Will’s sweatshirt and he smiled at the sound.

Nico made an attempt to sit up, but Will clung to his side. Nico shot him a look and Will clucked his tongue before reluctantly letting go and sitting up with him. Will turned and threw an arm around Holly, squeezing her close in an attempt to steal some of her warmth as she immediately launched into a game of: “ _guess who I just ran into?”._ Will ran through just about every person in their biology class before she revealed it was the girl who sat behind Will in English and had spent the entire semester trying to get his phone number.

“She didn’t see us though, thank god,” Holly said. “At least, I don’t think so… I mean, I assume because we didn’t have to like... tell her you were dead just so she’d leave us alone.”

“Which I appreciate, by the way. Just so you know.”

Nico ignored them, digging through the pile of snacks and pulling out a long, clear bag that was twisted at the top. He made a face and turned to look at Will and Holly. “Popcorn?”

“Kettle corn.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like… sugary popcorn.”

Nico looked at the bag suspiciously before shrugging his shoulders and untying it to shove a handful into his mouth. “Close enough.”

Will nudged him with his foot. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?”

“For what?”

“The snacks?”

“Oh,” said Nico, taking a moment to pause and swallow his food before looking over at their friends. “Thanks for the food.”

“You can repay us by buying pizza later,” Pip said, dropping in her seat next to Holly and digging out a bag of chips. “And by letting me play as Yoshi later.”

“Fuck off. No deal.”

Will rolled his eyes at Nico. “So I guess this means you guys are coming over afterwards?”

“If we’re invited.”

“Well, Holly is, but you’re-“

Will dug his elbow into Nico’s side and Nico made another face before opening his mouth to show Will a mouthful of chewed up food. Will made a disgusted sound and shoved Nico’s face back with an open palm. “You’re a fucking barbarian.” Nico swiped at his hand and Will batted him away, exasperated. “Anyway, just make sure someone tells Pip’s mom this time, because if we fall asleep I don’t want another repeat of last time.”

“Why not? You don’t want a crazy Ukrainian lady screaming at you from across the phone at 6AM?”

“I’ll pass.”

“Killjoy.”

“Right. _I’m_ the killjoy. Clearly I don’t know anything about fun.”

Nico cleared his throat. “Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black if you ask me.“

“As if,” Pip said. “I know all about fun, di Angelo. I know it every single time I crush you into dust at _Mario Kart_.”

“ _Dust_ is a little dramatic.”

“You’re sure about that? The records say otherwise.”

“Whatever. Dumb luck.”

“Dumb luck that’s been kicking your _ass_.”

“I can’t wait to see you cry tears of defeat tonight.”

“Keep dreaming.”

“I can promise you are nowhere even near my dreams.”

“Fuck off.”

Holly let out a long suffering sigh and dropped her head on to Will’s shoulder. “Do you ever feel like we’re babysitting but not getting paid?”

“Usually,” Will admitted easily. “More often than not, that’s for sure.”

“How did this happen? We’re good people.”

“Bad things usually happen to good people.”

“You wanna ditch these guys? Disappear? Maybe elope?”

“And here I was thinking you’d never ask.”

“We can leave these idiots behind and just start over somewhere. No one has to know we were ever associated with them.”

“How far are you thinking? Texas?”

“God no. Further.”

“Australia?”

“Perfect.”

“I want a pet wombat when we get there.”

“Two. We’re going to name them Andy and Ollie.”

“I knew I loved you.”

“Oh Will, I’ve _always_ -“

“Hey,” Pip interrupted, her eyes narrowed as she tugged at Holly’s arm. “Don’t be jerks.”

“We’re not. We’re in love and I’m trying to plan a wedding here. Go back to arguing with your sworn enemy or whatever-”

“You don’t even _like_ guys.“

“But it’s Will,” Holly said as if it were obvious. “He’s like a golden Greek god.”

From behind him, Will heard Nico aggressively choke on his popcorn. Will turned around to clamp and hand over his mouth but Nico was already hiding his face, coughing and waving his hand to dismiss their attention.

“Whatever. Either way, Will doesn’t like-“

“Hey,” Will said, holding up his hands in defense. “I don’t discriminate.”

“Yeah but you’re- Ugh.” Pip glared and dropped back down into her seat with her arms crossed over her chest. “Jerks. Huge jerks. And you’re not helping either, di Angelo.”

“Sorry,” Nico rasped, still trying to clear his windpipe as he fought between coughing and laughing. Will handed him a bottle of water. “Dying.”

“Weak excuse.”

“So is your face.”  
  
“Really? _That_ is the best you-“

“Oh thank god,” said Holly as the beach lit up with the light of the movie projected onto the giant screen in front of them. “Shut up. Both of you. We’ll settle this later.”

“He’s the one being an asshole.”

“What did I do?! You’re-“

“You’re _both_ assholes. Now again, sit down, shut up, and watch the movie.”

Will snickered, letting go of Holly so the two of them could resituate themselves but Nico was already chucking sand in his direction.

“What are _you_ laughing about?” Nico said once the four of them were in their respective spots. Will sat back, ducking his head further down to hide a chuckle into his sleeve before leaning closer to Nico’s shoulder.

“You just got _told_ ,” Will said in a low voice.

“Shut _up_.”  
  
“I’m going to tell the entire camp: ‘Lord of Darkness told off by 5’6 mortal girl with ginger hair and freckles.’ Clarisse is going to _die_.”

“So will you if you say anything.”

“Oooh, tough guy. So scary.”

“Fuck off.”

Will grinned.

Next to them, Holly was leaning into Pip’s space and although Will couldn’t hear what they were saying, he could hear the smile in Holly’s voice. He tried his best not to listen too closely, but seeing Pip’s eyes darken at the thought of Holly leaving her made Will more than a little giddy on Holly’s behalf.

From across Will’s lap, Nico tossed another blanket in the direction of Holly and Pip and Holly received it gratefully, throwing a wink in Nico’s direction before spreading it across their legs.

Nico nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

Will wasn’t entirely sure when Nico stopped being so nervous around Holly and Pip. He knew it had taken time, several encounters of awkwardness and several weekends of stilted conversation, but over time things got easier and the tension in the room began to disappear. He struggled to pinpoint the exact moment it all changed (but he kind of had the sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with a particularly stubborn bottle of two-liter soda that turned out to be explosive) but it had, and the discomfort that had existed before wasn’t worth remembering.

Nico’s smiles were becoming more frequent, and even though there were still nightmares and times where he would retreat back into himself, Will was patient and Nico recovered quicker each time.

This wasn’t the boy who Will had met the first time he had come to camp, nor was it the same one who had years later collapsed into Will’s hands. Now he was something different, something more permanent. Will hadn’t known back then that he could so willingly place his heart in someone else’s hands. He couldn’t predict that someday that small, exhausted body of darkness would contain the heartbeat that he would treat as his own.

Nico’s eyes were no longer as dark as they once were. His hair didn’t hide his face as much. His limbs were so much longer than they used to be, and the body that had been so light and weak in Will’s hands, was now firm and strong next to him. He was beginning to embody his Ghost King moniker, and now, in some moments, he looked downright regal.

People were beginning to notice him. It started with a girl from Will’s school asking about him after Will dragged him to one of his school’s theater shows. She didn’t say anything at the time, but on Monday morning she was at Will’s desk before he even got there and the moment he walked in she asked: “ _Solace. Who was your super hot friend on Friday night?”_

(Completely coincidentally his backpack chose that exact moment to get caught on the back of his chair and the result was an awkward choking sound that had nothing to do with the association of _Nico_ and _super hot_.)

Will awkwardly laughed at the entire situation and politely explained that he was just a friend from camp and he was only visiting.

All the time. Like every weekend.

It felt a little like lying, which it wasn’t entirely. He _was_ only visiting and he _was_ from camp but calling Nico something as generic as _friend_ seemed a giant disservice (and completely diplomatic response) to the way he felt about him. _Holly_ was a friend. _Pip_ was a friend. Lou Ellen and Cecil were _friends_ but that was not (was _absolutely_ not) what Nico was. There were all sorts of other complicated things that came with their not-just-friendship and Will was 100% confident that prior to Nico he had never wanted to know what it would feel like to get pressed up against a wall and he wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

(Except for the fact that he did. Will wasn’t an idiot. He knew that instead of telling that girl: “ _Oh, he’s just a friend from camp visiting for the weekend”_ what he should have said was: “ _He’s my best friend who I’ve been dreaming of since we were like fourteen so please, kindly, back the fuck up.”_ )

(In hindsight, the response he had given her was probably just as good.)

Nico had yet to catch on to his newly acquired fame but Will was more aware than ever. More than once Will had caught girls nearly breaking their necks to have a double-take as he walked by and although it stirred something green and envious in his stomach, Will couldn’t blame them. He was guilty of staring just as openly and it wasn’t as if Nico belonged to him.

He knew Nico had caught him staring (much more than he was proud of) but he never called him out, never told him it made him uncomfortable, and when Will let himself be optimistic, he thought that maybe it was because Nico did the same when he wasn’t looking.

Maybe – just a completely hypothetical maybe – Will wasn’t the only one who wondered what it would have felt like to kiss his best friend the night they had argued.

(He had been close – _so_ close – and Will still wondered, over and over again, if he hadn’t pulled back, would Nico have leaned forward?)

Will’s chest swelled. His heart pattered irregularly against his ribs and instinctively his eyes flicked to Nico’s wrist where his bracelet was covered by the sleeves of his jacket. Will dropped his head onto Nico’s shoulder, burying his face into the fabric of his hood, feeling stupid, and embarrassed, and overwhelmingly glad to be alive.

_This is fine_ , Will thought. _We can stay just like this. I don’t need anything else._

Nico shifted his shoulder. He nudged it upward twice in what Will assumed was an attempt to get his attention, but Will stayed buried into his jacket. This was not the time. He couldn’t look at Nico when he felt like this.

“Hey,” Nico whispered, reaching over to adjust the hood around Will’s head. “You okay?”

Will nodded.

“You still cold?”

Will shook his head and thought: _You’re my everything. Please don’t let me screw this up._

“You sure?”

_I’m so happy it hurts._ Will nodded.

“What’s wrong?”

_Everything. Nothing. I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you._

“Nothing,” Will whispered back at last, lifting his head just enough to catch the reflection of the movie in Nico’s eyes. “I’m just… really… really happy.”

Nico paused and Will hoped for some type of witty remark. He needed something to bring his heartrate back to normal, something to tell him: _we’re just friends, this is all normal_ and not something that would make Will wonder if Nico tasted as much like October as he smelled. Nico said nothing though and then after a moment, he slowly lifted an arm and wrapped it around Will’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“Good,” Will heard a long while later, the word so quiet that Will thought he might have been imagining it over the sound of the movie if it hadn’t been for the hand that sought his under the folds of blankets. He fumbled their hands together, tucking them deep beneath the covers and keeping them hidden from view. Nico turned his eyes back to the movie screen and in a calm, level voice said: “Me too.”

Will’s heart stopped racing and all he could do was smile. He flicked his eyes over to Holly and Pip who were nestled in their own world of comfort and when he looked back to Nico, he had the smallest of smirks on his face. Will nudged him with his elbow and he heard Nico breathe a small laugh through his nose.

_This is fine_ , he thought, breathing in the scent laundry detergent, frost, and Halloween. _This is all that matters._ _This is all I need._

From under the blankets, Nico’s hand gave his a quick squeeze and Will smiled to himself, turning back to the movie and wondering if maybe someday he would find out what October tasted like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Seven versions later* I don't even care. I'm just glad this portion of the series is over. Now moving on... 
> 
> http://kazymyrz.tumblr.com/


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